We spoke to an adoption attorney, but I still need some advice…preferably from someone who has adopted?
Sunday, February 28th, 2010 at
2:41 pm
DH and I spoke briefly with an adoption attorney recently. She told us that the way adoption works in our state is that WE have to locate a woman willing to give her purchase prozac online child up for adoption, and she (the attorney) does the legal paperwork. Is that normal? I don’t even know how someone would go about doing that. If you have had experience with adopting, please let me know how it worked. Thank you in advance.
We adopted from foster care and they took care of everything. We still chose our own attorney and they covered the bill as long as it was someone from a long list of attorneys—does Not need to be in your area. The attorney can be from anywhere in the state. foster parents who have a special needs child usually choose an attorney from the Champaign area.
Yes, that’s correct.
Attorneys just do the paperwork. Agencies find/place the babies. You could find someone looking to give up their baby, or you could go through foster care, but the attorney doesn’t find the kid.
Ok. yes, from an adoption lawyer said that is true, unless she is an adoption agency or she jsut happens to come across a lady that is wanting to place her child for adoption she is not going to be locating them. You have 2 choices: go to an agency or do it on your own. If you do it on your own you can have a website, let everyone know that you are wanting to adopt, if your state allows you can place ads, you can look on websites that place hard to find situations (that’s how we did ours…it was through handstohold.com…great place!)…
If you go through an adoption agency do your research…and be prepared for a wait..well, either way there is going to be a wait..but anyhow…good luck!
Well, you got half your answer from the lawyer, your best bet is to find a reputable adoption agency and work through them, they may even provide the services to do the paper work as well.
For example, one local to the area I live in is: http://www.bethany.org/
If you’re in Southwest Michigan it’s a good resource and they’ve been around for years, you probably have one in your area too!
Call a private foster care agency. I worked at one that did adoptions and foster to adopt. they can also explain to you if social services is an option. My agency was located in several different states and I’ve never heard of have to "locate" an available child. I was adopted as an infant and my parents never met or knew who my bio paretns were.
Edit; why some many thumbs down?…this was just my experience…
Yes, that’s true. Disgusting, isn’t it? Do you really plan to hang out at the mall, just waiting for a pregnant teenager to walk by and then ask, "Are you planning to surrender your baby for adoption?"
There are over 100,000 children in foster care who NEED homes and loving families. Why not adopt one (or more) of them?
Yes, that is the way it works. Very, very few women give their children away these days, so there is really no need for infant adoption.
I suggest foster care.
we adobtied my brother. yes the normal becuase you are buying right from birth ( i assume) so that mean you need to interview the babies mother anf father and their family if you wish and determine which family you like the most from. (reason being is when you adobte you are buying their traits their habits their life styles, and hoping those postives features that you saw, the reason you choces them, is whats gona be delverod into the child you adobt. there for you have to in a sence Hire the right family to give you a baby.) there are agencies that handle a list of all thje mothers who are willing and you can pick from the list
At attorney is not an adoption agency
Seeking out a birth mother is not part of her job.
That is how it works if you are going through a private adoption lawyer. They are only a lawyer, not a social worker or adoption worker. They are usually for people who are adopting a baby of a friend, someone they know or have met before.
If you are interested in adoption, contact an adoption agency, not an adoption lawyer. The agency will interview you, conduct your home study and get the ball rolling. Then you’re on the waiting list and hopefully a woman wanting to place her baby for adoption will choose you.
Some attorney’s only do the legal paperwork, other’s go to extreme lengths to hunt down expectant mothers for their paying clients.
Either way, attorney’s do nothing more than sit back in their big comfy overstuffed chairs, raking in thousands of dollars from those wanting unavailable newborns to be made into available.
Newborns aren’t waiting at lawyers offices or adoption agencies. Expectant mother’s aren’t lined up by the thousands giving their newborns away. They are being sought out, hunted down, preyed upon, and recruited, all in an attempt to meet the demand created by the hundreds upon thousands who are willing to pay the adoption industry. Just because it can be made legal, doesn’t make it ethical.
Lawyers deal with the legal stuff, but you have to have legal stuff for them to deal with before you can hire them.
Speaking as someone who was abandoned to adoption at 7mths old, I would like to give you a word of caution – not to put you off being willing to help a child who honestly and truly needs help, but to make you aware that adoption isn’t always the rainbow farting unicorns as depicted in the media.
I honestly and truly wish that I’d been aborted instead of abandoned to adoption, so please be prepared for the fact that any kid you adopt could grow up (I’m 37, so definitely and legally a "grown up" in pretty much everywhere) to be as screwed up as me.
I didn’t have a bad adoption – my afamily are the best I could ever have chosen… but if I’d been able to choose, and I’d known then what I know now, I’d've chosen to be aborted before birth instead, ’cause at least that way the lifetime of agony I’ve gone through would’ve been over in minutes, instead of the decades that I’ve been suffering for now.
I’ve been in reunion with my bfam for a few months now, and even that’s proving to be completely agonising.
Taken from Nancy Verrier’s book, Coming Home to Self: http://www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.php
For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn’t understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right.
(pg 50)
Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure – even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That’s why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful – being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed – it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child’s greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory.
(pg 102)
It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn’t as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you’re not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun."
(pg 117)
Please bear in mind that the US Passport agency requires that a birth certificate is filed within one year of birth. You may be causing unnecessary headaches for the person, and they may be denied a passport (as many adopted people frequently are!) – the rules differ state to state.
Please read back through a few months worth of resolved questions in here http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index?sid=2115500138 and then go read through all of the books and links listed at http://7rin-on-adoption.dreamwidth.org/tag/recommended+reading
Comprehend that lot, and you’ll be about ready to adopt.
attorney s don’t "find" children for parents. An adoption agency helps with this or you find one on your own.
we adopted in california. Our agency searched for us. We also talked to an attorney, and she has a lot of connections and helps search too. Depending where you live there may be other "adoption professionals" who help you search either by advising you how to search or by actually having their own way of searching. In calfornia for example agencies can advertise to pregnant woman regarding adoption services, but individuals can’t place ads. There are some states where individuals can advertise.Also agencies usually recommend you network with your friends, family and anyone you might know who could put you in touch with someone considering adoption. I suspect that the adoption lawyer you talked to doesn’t get involved in searching, but you might find another lawyer who does, or you can work with an agency. Our agency handled things separately, and you could decide to participate in their outreach (search) if you wanted, and there was a fee for that. We actually matched online using a site we paid to advertise on – sort of "match.com" for babies. The site accepted only families/couples who already had an approved homestudy from a licensed agency. We had to put them in touch with our agency to verify this. (meaning you can’t advertise withe them until all the paperwork is done and approved).
If you are going with an adoption lawyer than you find the adoption situation. But if you go to an agency they will have you put together a profile and it will be shown to mother’s who are considering adoption.
Independent adoption is where you find the birthparent and just hire a lawyer. Ways to find birthparents are by putting a profile on adoptionprofiles.com, contacting OBGYN offices and giving them a profile that they can give to anyone considering adoption, and just telling everyone you know that you want to adopt because you never know who may know of someone. Independent adoption is much cheaper because you only pay the lawyer fees and any medical bills.
Agency adoption is where you got to an agency and will be put on their list for birthmom’s to view. You just sit and wait for someone to choose you. They agency provides services to the birthmom’s to help them through the process. They are able to help the birthmom with an adoption plan and give her counseling and support to make sure this is what she really wants. You want to find an agency that will not pressure woman and will tell them their options if what they want is to parent. Agency adoption will cost you a lot more, $15,000-$40,000. Go to adoptionagencyratings.com to find a good agency.
Don’t worry about everyone’s opinions here because just like butts, they all stink!
What did you expect? That the attorney had a file cabinet full of babies, or a hotel housed with expectant mothers just waiting for you? Or did you expect her to solicit for you? Hang out in maternity ward, maybe?
To adopt, go to an adoption agency or the state.