Are adoption agencies and attorneys pimps?
Saturday, November 21st, 2009 at
4:31 am
If they control the transaction and accept/broker the "fees" for services rendered by the "birth mothers", then isn’t this relationship really reminiscent of thes "oldest profession"?
Hi Sunny,
Great question & great analogy too!
Both pimps & the for-profit adoption industry make their livlihood from the exploitation of women’s sexuality and/or reproductivity. NO money should be exchanging hands for children ever!
And if I may address the claim that since other parents pay for the prenatal care & delivery of their children, adoptive parents should pay that amount too. That is not what adoption fees are for. Adopted children are not born twice! When a child transfers families, their first parents, or their first parents’ insurance or public assistance has already paid the prenatal & delivery fees for that birth. It may not be unusual for AP’s to THINK they paid the medical costs because they were told they did when in fact, the mother was most likely covered by public assistance.
So where did all that money go? You can bet the child’s mother never saw a penny of that $20,000-$30,000 and probably had no idea how much money was exchanged for her child. What about children who are not even babies? Is it logical to expect to pay prenatal & delivery costs for them? Those were paid long ago yet large amounts are still tacked on to their adoptions. Adoption fees mostly line the pockets of the admins. They also pay lots in advertising so they can recruit more vulnerable unsuspecting pregnant women into "open adoption" to keep more victims coming & the money rolling in for the business. It also goes towards anti-adoptee legislation, pro-adoption literature, pro-adoption "counseling" and overhead such as office expenses & salaries. All a vicious circle for a vicious industry. All unnecessary expenses for an unnecessary business. They would have no business without fees from selling the babies. They would have no babies without exploiting the mothers. All that is truly necessary is filing legal paperwork. PAP’s & AP’s should be outraged at how they are being overcharged by adoption agencies and they should refuse to participate in that. There are far more ethical ways to help children. Participating in exploiting their mothers is not one of them.
Someone else suggested this business of selling babies is no different from the work a dental hygienist does. It’s way different. The big difference is your dentist is not exploiting a woman’s reproductivity in any way nor trying to procure children for a profit. The hygienist is not being exploited because he/she is providing a service from which they directly profit. After giving birth, new mothers do not collect a fee for themselves or for their babies, nor should they. They are used & discarded. All collected money stays with the agency, just like Sunny said, like pimps. The mothers (and the prostitues) are exploited where the dental hygienists are not.
Babies are not a product and mothers are not providing a "service". The point is nobody should be making money from babies, but somebody is. Lots of somebodies are. And they are trying to make it look like legitimate, everyday, acceptable businesses. And the general public is fooled because they confuse it with the real social services for children. Take care of children who do not have families – YES, always! That’s the purpose of public children’s social services. Have private businesses profit from it – never. That is highly unethical. Many other countries are outlawing private adoptions for this very reason. Their women are no longer being exploited by adoption agency pimps and the children are still being well cared for.
Thanks for asking this Sunny. Hope it makes people think. Women’s sexuality or reproduction should not be for sale by others.
julie j
reunited adult adoptee
.. if you are going to take that view of things than the same can be said for any couple where one works and the other stays home… there is a bit more to it all
yes, or slavers.
As for the responder who said that the same could be said in a family where one works and the other stays home….if the other stayed home and ate bonbons all day, then yes, that could apply, but I am staying home now, and it is more work and less free time than I have ever had! It is work, too. Just a different kind of work, and I don’t get a paycheck for it this time.
I concur, I think the analogy fits.
I am a stay at home mom, and that hardly makes me a hooker, btw. It would actually cost more money for me to find all day care for my kids than I would make working, so I’m actually saving money doing it. THAT analogy? RIDICULOUS!
To the first answerer: Erm, I’m with SLY. I’m staying home at the moment, and my husband works outside the home. I am certainly not a prostitute.
And in answer to your question, Sunny…yes.
totally. and its legal! ;-(
You know something I am getting sick and tired of questions like this. I do not consider going to an adoption agency/attorney like participating in the "oldest profession". This is such an insult to both the birth moms, the children, and the APs. When you are pregnant and go to the doctor to have your baby- you pay him for your fees, don’t you? Why should you think you shouldn’t pay the attorney or agency something? What is a women supposed to do if for whatever reason she cannot raise her own child. Aborting it is not the answer either, or you and I would not be here, am I right? Granted some agencies/attorneys charge far too much for adoption services and that is wrong, but that does not make it like the worlds oldest profession- now come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think slave traders would be more accurate. Pimps are specific to sexual trafficking.
I get your point though.
Like the analogy as "birth" mothers do the wonderful, loving, selfless thing of surrendering but as soon as the deed is done they are the lowest of the low.
There are evils in all walks of life. From adoption to whatever cause you choose. If an agency is ethical and their focus is on children in need then absolutely not. If an agency promises you babies fast in as little as three months, (see google ads) I see red flags!
Then I guess you could say the same for your dentist who controls the transaction and accepts the fee for cleaning services rendered by the dental hygienist.
Shame on those service providers.
Love the creative thought put into the question though.
IMO…..Right ON.
The johns & pimps in adoption are hardly ever busted…..just like it is in prostitution.
The majority of Aps would only agree to this analogy if the pimp walked away with their money and they ended up without any goods or if the goods were flawed/damaged medically.
I definitely think some are very shady. That was what turned me off domestic adoption through agencies, you just don’t know who you can trust. I met with a few people from domestic agencies and I remember being very uncomfortable with them. Big phoney smiles and a lot of avoidance of questions.
Good analogy Sunny! I agree with you. Instead of selling sex, they’re selling baybees.
Pretty much… they do the same things as pimps; are as aggressive as a pimp in getting their clients and forcing their "girls" to go make some money.
Great correlation!
That is such a bad way to look at it.